Safe Browsing
26 November 2025
As part of the 16 Days of Activism Against Gender-Based Violence, we’re focusing on an often-overlooked aspect of domestic abuse: the way pets are used as tools of coercion and control.
Many people see animals as part of their family, a source of comfort and safety. Sadly, these strong bonds can be exploited by perpetrators, who use pets as weapons. We spoke with two survivors, Ian and Isabel*, about how their pets were used to manipulate, threaten, and harm them, and what changes are needed to protect both people and animals experiencing abuse.
“They weaponise animals as they weaponise children. It’s just another way to have control. They absolutely don’t care one jot about what the animals are feeling, same as what the children are feeling.” – Ian, survivor
“There’s that old phrase about a dog being a man’s best friend. They’re a family member with four legs instead of two,” said Ian.
However, like family members, this emotional bond is often used as a tool of coercive control. As Ian explained: “They weaponise animals as they weaponise children. It’s just another way to have control. They absolutely don’t care one jot about what the animals are feeling, same as what the children are feeling.”
“Every part of your life has to be under their control – that includes children and animals,” agreed Isabel.
“She’d hide under a chair when he shouted”
For Isabel, food was often used as a form of control: “Food was a massive flashpoint. He used to feed her all the time and then get violent towards me and blame me for her getting fat… She’d hide under a chair when he shouted.”
In Ian’s case, control often took the form of “training” or “rules.” He remembered being told specific behavioural rules that, in retrospect, were really about controlling both him and the dogs physically and emotionally. This situation was complicated because the dog in his home belonged to his ex-partner.
He also owned racing greyhounds, which were used as another means of control. “The dream was having a dog good enough to run on television. I was given the chance for my dog to be in a televised race and was incredibly excited, but my ex-partner manufactured a crisis which meant I missed the race. They always sabotage important events; he won but I missed it. You never get that back. They go to great lengths to get you inside out and then use that to disable you emotionally.”
Using animals as coercion after escape
Even after escaping, pets continue to be used as weapons. Isabel’s ex-partner repeatedly exploited her love for her animals after she fled. “He sent emails saying ‘the dog’s got arthritis, we can’t afford treatment, he’s in pain.’ He knew exactly what he was doing.”
Later, the coercion escalated to direct threats: “He said if I didn’t sign the house over, people were on their way down with guns. They’d shoot me, my sister, and there was an extra payment if they killed my (new) dog. He knew what any dog would mean to me.”
The comfort of animals and guilt of moving on
When it became clear Isabel would never be reunited with her old dog, her sister persuaded her to get a new pet: “I have an assistance dog and he literally saved my life. He’s like my right arm. I don’t go anywhere or do anything without him. He knows my panic attacks are happening before I do. He’ll bump me with his nose or squeak his toy. It doesn’t stop the panic attack, but it stops it getting to a level where I’m unsafe. I was housebound before I had him.” However, she still felt guilty about her old dog: “You feel guilty because that’s how we’re wired.”
For Ian, the guilt took another form. “Those dogs weren’t mine, I had no say. When she was incarcerated, they went to a rehoming centre. They became genuine victims too.”
What needs to change
Both Isabel and Ian believe more must be done to protect pets and their owners experiencing abuse.
There is a clear need for better accommodation options for people and their pets when fleeing abuse. Ian suggested creating spaces for animals “like a halfway house when a child goes into temporary care” and finding ways to “speed up the reunion between dogs and owners.”
Isabel agreed: “People get separated from their pets because of housing instability. I was in refuge with a woman who’d been there so long she had to give up her dog. You just don’t know how long it’s going to take.”
“Vets could act as safe spaces, similar to pharmacies or banks: “If a vet knows a regular owner suddenly stops coming, that’s a red flag.”
Both survivors also said that police, vets, and other professionals have a vital role to play. Animals can serve as warning signs of domestic abuse: “There are brilliant dog handlers in the police. They could watch for signs of mistreatment. The dog might be the red flag.”
They also believe vets could act as safe spaces, similar to pharmacies or banks: “If a vet knows a regular owner suddenly stops coming, that’s a red flag.”
Isabel suggested more visible campaigning in animal-related settings: “Posters and signage up in vets’ practices – if you’re sat in the waiting room, maybe that’s a place for somebody to reach out for help.”
Ian added: “In the build-up to Christmas, you always see campaigns around animal welfare. ‘A dog isn’t just for Christmas’ etc. Maybe this could be tied in with domestic abuse.”
Protecting people means protecting pets
To truly protect those experiencing domestic abuse, we must also protect their pets. This includes making refuge spaces pet-friendly, training professionals to recognise the signs of domestic abuse, and ensuring animals, like their owners, are recognised as victims.
“To truly protect those experiencing domestic abuse, we must also protect their pets.”
Hestia has recently changed its policies in single-occupancy refuges to allow pets and is supporting campaigns such as Ruby’s Law, which seeks to strengthen protections for both survivors and their animals.
*Name changed for the safety of the survivor
